Happy Thanksgiving!

People have Thanksgiving traditions which more often than not involve their pets.  In our case, I was invited to my mother's for the traditional meal of luscious turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, cranberry sauce (the real kind  that retains its shape after being removed from the can), stuffing and all the accouterments which make this a family holiday so special. Did I mention the clam dip?  Oh, we are talking heaven here. I made sure that my family understood, no clam dip, no appearance by me.  My mother surprised me by asking me to bring our beagle, Bailey.  They dog sat her for a weekend and seem to like her.  I weighed the pros and cons. If we took her, we wouldn't have to beagle-ize the house...make sure anything she could reach and was vaguely edible was behind locked doors, at least 6' from the floor, and couldn't be shaken to the floor.  We learned early on that the beast was clever enough to keep shaking the table until whatever was on it even though it was  pushed back against the wall, would fall over and with persistent shaking, it could be made to roll off the table.  We lost several jars of peanut butter  because the cur figured that out and we didn't.  She thought no one was home, she did this, and then she was caught in the act.  Oh, and she knows how to open a jar after the first time it has been open from the factory.  She then licks down as far as her tongue will reach, hides the jar in the couch, under a bed, or behind something for later snacking.  Back to the debate of whether or not I should take her to my mother's.

Another consideration is having to take the animal unawares.  Bailey reacts the same way to going in the car as she does getting a bath.  The slightest inkling we might be going somewhere and she takes off for under a bed.  She could probably live under there for days because if we do not check regularly enough, she has quite a stash under there of peanut butter, jelly, and sometimes bread.  My son and I speak in whispers about how to achieve getting her leashed and out to the car.  But, Bailey is a clever dog.  Things that tip her off:  entire family grooms themselves with care, she may hear the car keys, she sees us beagle-ize the house, put the garbage on the back porch, and gather things together that we are taking.  There is also having to keep an eye on Bailey while we are visiting because if no one is looking, she has no problem snatching something off a table and making a run for it. She also will try the nonchalant approach of quietly and delicately taking something off a plate on the table and slowly walking from the room with her prize.  There would be lots of food on tables.  It gets annoying when you have to constantly watch her and you can't really enjoy yourself. Also, their parakeet, Max, would have to be locked away in a safe room.  The first time Bailey was introduced to him she licked her chops.  This did not bode well for any type of  lasting relationship.  Worst of all, between the mooching and laying exhausted on the couch, she would need to be taken outdoors. This means having to stop whatever I was doing and take the beast out.

What eventually happened was that I got all sentimental and agreed to take her. I used to take my first beagle, Porky, to my mother's for every holiday.  He rarely smelled bad (he didn't like baths, but he was small enough that he wasn't able to put up much of a protest).  He really enjoyed being there even apart from the food and the family enjoyed him.  Bailey?  Being there is great, but, she  hates riding in a car.  See the part above where she hides under the bed. I thought my son and I were very careful and didn't do anything to let her know we were preparing to go.  She disappeared under the bed so something tipped her off.  Unfortunately, the door to the bedroom can only be locked from the inside and it never stays latched or we could just keep her out of there.  Not to worry, we still had time before we left.  Time enough to let her forget and come out on her own.  We went about doing what we usually do.  No dog came out of the bedroom. I rustled bread wrappers, opened the fridge door, random cupboards, and loudly dropped food on the floor. Still no dog.  We used to knock on the front door and pretend someone was there. It worked for about 3 times. Now, she just lays under the bed and barks from there. It was getting to the time when we just had to leave.  The decision was made by my son when he looked at me and said, "I'm going in".  Luckily, the dog was only just under the bed and not all the way under in the far corner against the wall. I heard scuffling, elbows banging on the floor, heads banging on the bed, a muffled, "Help me" and as I ran to the rescue both emerged from under the bed blinking and sneezing. My son was triumphant, the dog, not so much.  The leash was applied and she reluctantly went outside.  After doing her "business", which showed she had been eating something she probably shouldn't have.  It looked like paper.  She was led to her doom, the door opened and ordered to get into the car. Bailey knows resistance is futile and she jumped in. The car is a mini-van and she rushed to the other side of the car, laid down and put her head under the seat.

Drives are quite uneventful with Bailey.  We forget she is in the car. She cowers with her head under the seat and will come out to look out a window when we slow down or stop for a light. We've taken her lots of places that she loves going.  To get ice cream, go for runs in fields, to see my other son, the Grandma's house, but she just hates the car. Our border collie Fergus was like that too until we had a really bad storm coming and I had to go to town.  He looked at the storm, listened to the thunder, and decided it was safer in the car with me and he would not take no for answer. He came with me. From that time on, he liked the car and would sit in the front or back seat with the window slightly rolled down so he could sniff the air coming in, pant, and get saliva all over.  I mean ALL over.  Back to Bailey.  We got to my mother's and she knew where we were immediately and was jubilant beagle which got really happy when we went inside and she smelled the cooking and snacks on the table. She got a few crackers and was banished from the kitchen when no one was out there to watch her. She spent the rest of her time following around anyone that had food and giving the beagle mind control look at them trying to bully them into giving her some.  Everyone had been warned that the few crackers she got were enough and they were not to give her any more. She finally gave up and went to sleep on the couch.

Dinner time came and as is tradition, the animals in the house get a little of the dinner.  This was all right by Bailey.  She got a little turkey, lots of vegetables (she loves vegetables...especially swiss chard and asparagus), stuffing and a little gravy.  Not much more than she would have gotten if she had been giving her dinner in dog food. No bones because poultry bones are especially bad for dogs. They splinter and a dog can choke on them.  No pie because it was chocolate...very bad for dogs and no apple pie because it's too good to feed to dogs. Fergus loved apple pie. My ex mother in law made a pie for us.  My ex husband was home for lunch and was sitting by the pie.  He left and I was in another room taking care of a baby.  I came back and thought it would be nice to have a  piece of pie. I went to cut myself a piece and noticed that my husband had picked all the filling out of the pie and had only left the bottom crust in all but a few slices.  I was, to say the least, quite irate. I'm not saying this was the reason for our divorce, but it contributed. I ate the bottom crust because I like crust and had a few unkind words to say to him when he got home. He acted surprised at the accusation and vehemently denied doing such a thing.  Fergus came into the room looking hopeful for more....pie. It was an awkward moment when I realized the dog had been at the pie.  I tried not to think about the dog busily lapping up the pie and leaving the crust that I had eaten. I apologized to my ex and had words with the dog instead. To my knowledge, Fergus never took another thing off the table until he got to be about 12. I think he was getting a little senile or the beagle was a bad influence.  He got up onto the table and ate off one of the kids plates after we had finished dinner and the kids had left the table but my ex and I were still sitting there. Anyway, Bailey did not have any dessert or clam dip.  Shellfish are not usually part of a dog's diet and I didn't want her to go into analpholatic shock if she was allergic to clams.

When it was time to leave, she realized we were going in the car again.  She put her head under a chair and tried to look invisible.  It didn't work and she was hauled out to the car.  Bailey was really happy to get home and it was then that I made a horrifying discovery. She may have taken this out of grocery bags when they were sitting waiting to be put away after a shopping expedition. She had gotten and eaten an entire pound of butter, complete with the wrappers.  That's what was in her stool! It was the wrappers. The aftermath is sometimes the only way we know when she's been stealing.